I can’t be like someone else. My friends are so awesome and I’m constantly wishing I had certain attributes of theirs. I wish I could move on from failures quickly or be accepting of when things don’t go my way. But I realize what’s hurting me more is focusing on how I can’t be this way. Instead, I have to embrace who I am and work from there.
I have been going through something mentally lately. My head has been wrapped in a huge enigmatic fog. While I thought I was so unlucky and forgotten by God, I failed to see the larger blessing he was giving me. Throughout my neurosis, my friends persisted and never abandoned me. Continually sought ways and new ways to get me clear and to get me happy. How amazing and lucky am I to have such care and concern coming my way. I certainly don’t deserve it, but I am eternally thankful.
The only way I can really repay them, other than being there in their moments of need, is to better myself and get out of this fog. They can only take me so far our of the tunnel. I have to reach clarity on my own and just focus on what God is teaching me through my friends.
I have no doubt that I’ll be ok. It’s scary to me that I’ve come to this place but I have to have faith that I’m only visiting. Hopefully, I’ll emerge a better person and be able to offer guidance to someone else experiencing the same.