i don’t know who I’ve been or how I got so bad these past weeks, but I’m feeling more awake now.

I let things control me and misdirect me. I led myself down this path of infatuation and negativity. I forgot that I control my mind and my actions. They have no lives of their own. 

I blame no one for feeling so poisoned. I lost sight of what was important and I’ve been trying to run away from responsibility and from facing my problems. I just wanted to feel good and happy and I wanted it quickly. The high is temporary when it’s not earned. 

I’m always looking to compare my life to others’. I haven’t really thought about what it is I truly want for myself. And that’s ok. I have time. But I need to cut out that comparing, trying-to-catch-up shit. My life will unfold as it is supposed to. Maybe it’s not going to be as glamorous or as organized as other peoples’, but maybe I’ll cherish it more. 

The down days will always be expected. When I see certain people just moving on it makes me feel forgotten. But it’s not about me. I have to remember that. It’s about them chasing their own happiness. If anyone I love and have loved encounters happiness, I will not feel anything except pure joy and relief for them. Not because it’s the noble way to feel, but because if I really loved them then their happiness is a win for me too. I will not welcome bitterness and anger. I am above that.

I know I’ve been in a dark place, but I feel like I was only visiting. I can’t stay down too long -  there’s too much beauty in this world to be thankful for and too many worse off people to help. At the root of me, I need to do good. I don’t think I’m weak for it, I just don’t believe in the long term misery and darkness. It weighs heavy on my soul. As for pain, it is a necessary evil. Only out of pain do I really ever see myself grow and have new eyes on the world. There’s a lot of terrible shit out there. There’s also a lot of fakeness, betrayal, brutality..etc. When you’re in pain, those poisons are all you can see. When the pain lets up, it leaves me stronger. You know if you face that pain again, you’ll survive it. 

I’m going to make my parents proud and I’m going to care about myself. No more sitting here waiting for the end.

dorkly:

7 Reasons To Get Excited About the Deadpool Movie
Well, it looks like it’s official - Fox has announced that the Deadpool movie will be released February 12th, 2016. For fans of the character, this could be a time of worry - Hollywood is known for screwing up weird, quirky comics like Deadpool…especially Deadpool, actually, since they’ve already messed him up once.
But we think the Deadpool movie is worth getting excited over - and here’s why.

2. The Script Is Apparently Great
While we don’t know that this is the still the script that’s in play (these things get rewritten and rewritten constantly during the course of development, switching writers like a game of musical chairs), the last known draft by Rhett Rheese and Paul Wernick was supposedly great. To give you some idea of what these guys are capable of, they wrote Zombieland - one of the funniest and most inventive action-comedies of the last decade. Plus, it includes one of the best cameos ever committed to film period. For those of you who haven’t seen it, get on that FAST.
Anyways, the script - it sounds fantastic. Cinema Blend put up a review of it earlier this year (which they had to remove due to copyright complaints from 20th Century Fox), and here’s what they had to say (prior to it being taken down, that is):


"In it’s best moments, [reading the ‘Deadpool’ script] is like reading ‘Van Wilder’ meets ‘Kill Bill’, a genius mix of insane dark comedy and ridiculous over the top violence the likes of which we’ve never seen in any other superhero movie before… With the right director and Reynolds in the lead, this script has the potential to be the ‘Dark Knight’ of R-rated superhero movies."


Apparently, there’s also a nice couple digs at X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which would be appreciated.
Of course, the review is just one outlet’s take on a script that may not even be in play any longer, but given these were the guys who wrote the test footage that was met with such positive reaction, 20th Century Fox would be pretty foolish to cut them and their vision loose at this point.

Read the rest here!

dorkly:

7 Reasons To Get Excited About the Deadpool Movie

Well, it looks like it’s official - Fox has announced that the Deadpool movie will be released February 12th, 2016. For fans of the character, this could be a time of worry - Hollywood is known for screwing up weird, quirky comics like Deadpool…especially Deadpool, actually, since they’ve already messed him up once.

But we think the Deadpool movie is worth getting excited over - and here’s why.

2. The Script Is Apparently Great

While we don’t know that this is the still the script that’s in play (these things get rewritten and rewritten constantly during the course of development, switching writers like a game of musical chairs), the last known draft by Rhett Rheese and Paul Wernick was supposedly great. To give you some idea of what these guys are capable of, they wrote Zombieland - one of the funniest and most inventive action-comedies of the last decade. Plus, it includes one of the best cameos ever committed to film period. For those of you who haven’t seen it, get on that FAST.

Anyways, the script - it sounds fantastic. Cinema Blend put up a review of it earlier this year (which they had to remove due to copyright complaints from 20th Century Fox), and here’s what they had to say (prior to it being taken down, that is):

"In it’s best moments, [reading the ‘Deadpool’ script] is like reading ‘Van Wilder’ meets ‘Kill Bill’, a genius mix of insane dark comedy and ridiculous over the top violence the likes of which we’ve never seen in any other superhero movie before… With the right director and Reynolds in the lead, this script has the potential to be the ‘Dark Knight’ of R-rated superhero movies."

Apparently, there’s also a nice couple digs at X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which would be appreciated.

Of course, the review is just one outlet’s take on a script that may not even be in play any longer, but given these were the guys who wrote the test footage that was met with such positive reaction, 20th Century Fox would be pretty foolish to cut them and their vision loose at this point.

Read the rest here!

(via collegehumor)

Surely, there MUST be options for other thoughts upon waking…I can’t always only have you popping in my head when I open my eyes. It’s really starting to annoy me. Get it together, brain! Please 😞

I was eating this delicious sandwich in my car in front of Walgreens (I couldn’t wait until I got home to eat it..it was too good) and I observed this elderly couple walking to their car. They seemed to have come from the bank and the man was holding firmly onto the woman’s. At this point I assumed they were married. The man was tall with graying blond hair and he stood upright, very strong looking. The woman, also blond, was stout, overweight, and bent over slightly from what may have been a bad back or knees. Either way, she had a harder time walking and he was aiding her. He walked with her around to the passenger side and opened the door for her. As she turned to lower herself into the seat, he bent over and kissed her then went about his way to the driver’s side. The kiss wasn’t this huge public display of affection. It was sweet. In fact, the whole thing had been a subtle public display of affection. That’s when I realized I was born in the wrong time period.

I mean is something like that really so hard to come by? Just a simple partnership where both sides support each other..
Who cares what a person does for a living, what sins they’ve committed, where they come from, and what obstacles they’re trying to overcome? It’s hard enough in this day to find someone genuine and devoted. I say what matters is what he or she will do with you. They may flourish and beat their demons. They may become the one person motivating you through your own dilemmas.

In the end, if I have a man who is my personal walking cane, who prioritizes family and doing the right thing, I couldn’t ask for more