I’ve been thinking lately that I am just not that nice of a person. I have this friend and she is the epitome of nice. Hardly anything gets to her and I’m shocked if she passes even the slightest judgement over someone else. But me, I am something kind of a bitch. And I go around pretending I’m not but being bubbly and caring. Yet deep inside I can’t care about anyone but myself. This is not a self-deprecating rant. I am merely stating fact. I’m not ok with this but I do love myself and know there’s always room for improvement. So ill chalk it up to being imperfect and because I have acknowledged my nature ill work on it. Blah blah. I actually have been thinking about this because I am wondering why any guys like me. I mean if I walk into a bar and it’s obvious I have a vagina and some drunk bastard says he likes me, I won’t doubt the fella. However, for a respectable man who doesn’t know me at all to pursue me- well, it’s just plain silly. And it’s not like I’m trying to advertise myself, save the part where I can’t leave the house without makeup (but that’s for insecurity issues). Like, hey guy, I’m a lunatic who can’t be herself around guys unless they’re gay or already unavailable or I happen to be intoxicated. Save yourself the trouble. I’m a doozy. I’ll make you wait an hour to get ready all the while I spent the day sitting watching Law & Order instead of making moves. I’ll tell you your shirt looks great and turn around to my girls and make a statement about how you might be gay for wearing that. Still, some people just can’t believe it til they see it. Well, anyway at least these experiences make for good stories.