My elderly female patient came back from OR today around 6pm. She’s this small, little thing and they had given her 100 mcg of fentanyl AND versed AND she’s on a dilaudid PCA. Basically, she was knocked the entire fuck out. Well, she was arousable and could respond when you woke her up, but she was heavily sedated. Her husband, looked like her age too (mid 70’s), had gone down and stayed in the waiting room while she was under and he had returned with her. Literally, the epitome of doting husband. He had this sort of maintained panic thing going on, as if he was trying to stay strong and calm for her but inside he was a worried mess. I didn’t blame him. She was so zonked and I wouldn’t have wanted to see her like that if I was him. After asking if she seemed ok, and I confirmed after assessing her and her vitals, his next priority was to get her ring on. Ugh, talk about having a moment there. I felt like I should’ve stepped away but he was so nervous to touch her I had to help. I helped him elevate her hand and he insisted that he slide it to where she usually kept it. Even though she could barely speak, she made a huge effort to respond as he kept asking if he was hurting her and if she was okay. It was so freakin cute to see. And after, of course, he kissed her forehead and said he’d be back for her and that he’d miss her. I know it’s corny as hell but older couples seriously ravage the insides of my heart. I guess because they’re a rare breed. How many people actually stay together, and stay happy, nowadays? I really have this terrible idea in my head that I won’t find that right person because it’s just impossible or there’s no ‘right person’ for me. So I used to think that I could just learn to love someone or just settle for whosoever loved me back and had a decent enough life. I mean I can get along with almost everyone so that I could see myself devoted to and taking care of him fully. How effin sad is that? Settle for whoever? I don’t care however long it takes..if I need to wait 50 years to find love like that elderly couple, then I’ll wait. I’m thinking the wait and loneliness would be worth it because that true love crap is probably just not going to happen to me naturally, or to most people. I’m not gonna sit here and be sad about it. I guess I’ll just live my life and if it happens to step into my life then I’ll run around screaming “Hallelujah”! Obviously, I can’t look around for that. If it were so easy to find it, it wouldn’t be such an amazing thing. It’s just gotta fall into my lap, I guess. But anyway, I guess I’m going to be waiting a while because guys aren’t really like that anymore. Gentlemen are a dying breed, too. Maybe I was born in the wrong time period.